Nwakibeya

It’s not about you!

I want to share my biggest lesson of 2016. I want to share the single lesson that has made my life easier and better. I want to share a lesson you need to learn if you haven’t.

We live in an ever changing world. We live in a beautiful world. We live in a cruel world. We all see the world differently but we must see the world in one particular way- It’s not about us.

The rise of social media in our lives has led to levels of narcissism we could have sworn wasn’t there. We are a stressed generation. We are stressed even when we don’t achieve much. We are so quick to get offended and head over to social media to cuss the offending brand out. Social media has given us power. It’s a beautiful thing but everything that has a pro has a con and that’s life.

However, I’m not here to talk about social media. Rather I want to talk about the concept of “It’s not about me” because you see, a lot of our “quick to anger” is due to our overvaluation of our self importance.

This concept has helped me so much I can’t even say how much. “It’s not about me” is a system where you remove yourself from a situation, take away your ego and personality to evaluate situations critically. It is a system that will help you grow in your career, have a better disposition to life and maintain better relationships.

A lot of us do not get better in our profession because we can’t separate ourselves from our work. Soon as we get any criticism of our work we go defensive. We treat it as an attack on our person. It’s often not about you. Remove yourself from the picture. Let go of your ego. Let go of all the hours you put into it. Listen to the criticism clearly. Keep your emotions in check. It’s not about you.

Sometimes in your relationship, your significant other is frustrated about something and talks to you in a manner you don’t approve of. Before you get upset and things escalate, pause. Remove yourself from the situation. Your ego may be hurt but your significant other may be suffering a worse thing. It’s not necessarily about you. Listen, pacify and get over the sore point. Ideally you should leave your own grievance for when your partner is better but often when your partner is better you find that you don’t feel that strongly about your grievance anyway and you move on. Danger averted.

Sometimes, people will say things to you that you’ll immediately read meaning into and be offended. This affects your disposition and lowers the quality of your life. NO. It’s not about you. It could have been a mistake(we all make mistakes). It could have been meant differently too hence best system is to remove yourself and evaluate. If after evaluation, it was still meant as an insult, you’d realize that the time you gave yourself to evaluate the situation has given you time to think if the anger is meaningful or not. Often, it isn’t so you move on and remain your happy self.

 

Basically, It’s important to always remove yourself from situations. Control your ego. Evaluate situations independent of yourself. There are 7 billion people in the world, it’s not necessarily about you.

About the author

Dikachim

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